slowwwwww going!

tonight i read through half of dawn's [carpe diem] 2009 blogs. sooooo nice to read about what she has been up to this year! i am slowly catching up on blogs and others' lives yet, it seems [and dawn made the comment as well] that many people are missing from back when "we" were using aol journals. sad, really. it felt like more of a "community" then. after so many years, i suppose it would. how does one make it happen here and now?

i have found that facebook offers a fun community feeling yet it does not offer the same type of atmosphere. one cannot lay out ones feelings on facebook. it is not acceptable. [the verizon commercial nailed the sentiment right on the head.] one must not express emotion on facebook. funny quote? put it in your status for the day. angry with your boss? status. countdown to college? status. but, feeling down because your joints ache for the fourth day in a row and your doctor doesn't have a remedy? keep that emotion hidden. there is no place for pain and/or angst on facebook [that is, unless you are taking one of the mindless quizzes].

not to say that i don't enjoy facebooking. i do. i'm a little bit hooked, in fact. i have the facebook application on my crackberry so i can get updates 24/7. lucky me, i know when someone has posted a picture of their painted toenails the moment it happens.

i am ready for something new.

Summer Update

i cannot believe how long it has been. life has been ... well ... life. i see that many blogs are not being updated as often as they were when life was ao-hell. coincidence? or, like me, are the bloggers so busy that they don't have time to update?

since my last entry many things have happened. the best, along with getting engaged, is that my house is "safe." if the current administration hadn't imposed a foreclosure moratorium i would have lost it - not because i wasn't actively pursuing a resolution, but because i was not receiving responses from the corporations involved! for all the trouble i went through, i wonder how many people lost their homes because they simply ran out of time and/or patience. there were four - yes, four! - homes on my street that were abandoned [some fully furnished]. that's approximately 25% of the homes on my street. how sad is that? even worse is that i know, for a fact, that GMAC was the mortgage company involved with at least two of the homes [mine as well]. it disgusts me that so many people were screwed by them and, yet, they were allowed a bail out. i wouldn't have been in foreclosure if the company had accepted my partial payment last year when my roof and [entire] heating system had to be emergently replaced. instead, the company refused partial payment for the first month and refused further payment for the next two months until sending the home into foreclosure. i contacted GMAC's attorneys immediately to arrange payment and, subsequently, reached a deal with them. then came the wait .................

the papers never came despite my many emails and phone calls and, after my last email to their attorneys, i received notice that my mortgage had been "sold." coincidental that it happened around the time of the bailout ... >:( ultimately, after several stalled attempts [the current servicer lost pertinent info not once, but twice!] i was able to reach a DECENT service rep and my house is now out of foreclosure. my issue with the whole shebang is that there have been fees and penalties attached to my account - including an additional, mysterious $9K that appeared after the mortgage was sold by GMAC - that wouldn't have been there if "the other side" had done its job in a timely fashion. [i am still fighting the fees and penalties!] if anyone out there is experiencing foreclosure i highly recommend being patient and thorough. do not let corporate america take away your home if you know, in your heart, that you have done as much as you can to prevent foreclosure. all the foreclosure-related news that was on CNN [including statements from my state rep Marcy Kaptur, who suggested squatting] don't tell you that assistance programs are only as good as those who answer their phones. be vigilant about your account - keep records and notes - and if you don't receive responses, keep calling/emailing/etc. ultimately, it was vigilance and a timely intervention from the current admin via the moratorium that kept my house from foreclosure. while it will take more time to reach an agreement on the penalties and fees i know that, finally, my home is "safe." my payment is half what it was before due to a lower interest rate and extended mortgage term. those who are interested in this program and others can go to FinancialStability.gov hope it helps!

more later.

My Grown Up Christmas List [neat idea, Missie!]

1. my entire family together for at least an hour in the same place!
2. a [small denomination] home depot gift card so i can finish my house.

short list, i know. the thing is, i already have a great life and am so happy that i really can't think of anything else.

dear santa [racy! lol]

my friend sent me a link that i'd like to share with y'all - am hoping you'll play along and post your results!

http://www.wtv-zone.com/LadyBoheme/dearsanta.html

my result:

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at joanna's Christmas party. It was brogan who spiked the punch with too much grey goose. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like sex.

I thought it was funny when I put emily's thong on my head and danced the tango on the coffee table while singing `ain't no other man'. I didn't mean to break joanna's pda and don't know why joanna would sue me for gross sexual imposition.

I don't remember calling tony's wife a honkin' heifer---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and white lipstick!

And when I threw up on brogan's husband's vagina, it was only because I ate too much of that steak.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my hummer through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a felonious dog and have me arrested for breaking and entering!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all flirty and rockin'. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sexy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and scantily yours,
tracey (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 409 bucks!

my little angel

my niece has grown so much! click on this link to view the pics i took yesterday during our first day together. last year we spent a full month together when she was three months old. this year, it will be a "short" three weeks. she's 16 months now; walking and talking up a storm. the words come quickly and are rudimentary. but, she picks them up daily and last night when she was standing on the catwalk with mommy & daddy, she looked down at me and said, "auntie tracey!" to get my attention. stunning. i'm excited to be here but miss home.

hope all is well with you and yours!

what movie quote best represents you?

you've been tagged!

play along, then leave your two cents when you've posted in your journal so i can see what movie quote best represents you! :)

my movie quote is from runaway bride. it has taken a long time for me to understand who i am and what i want from life. once married, twice engaged [the first less than a month, the second less than six]; i have found that the following quote most appropriately describes me. ironically, my best friend and my mum have both separately told me that i remind them of julia roberts' character, maggie.

Maggie Carpenter: I wanted to tell you why I run - sometimes ride - away from things.
Ike Graham: Does it matter?
Maggie Carpenter: I think so.
[takes a deep breath]
Maggie Carpenter: When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who didn't have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person's fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I didn't go through with it because it would have been a lie. But you - you knew the real me.

the boy next door

so, i've now lived in my home for three years. in that time i've come to know my neighbors fairly well; enough to have shed tears when DOTTIE's husband died due to post-operative complications [aspiration] from cancer surgery six weeks ago. DOTTIE lives on my left, PAPA JOE and MANILA [his significant other] live on my right. there is a group home directly across the street with an excellent, 24-hr staff and 3 residents. my favorite is STARSHINE. she is wheelchair bound and has difficulty speaking. however, i have little difficulty understanding her since my friend BOPI from THAT PLACE had severe "stroke" dialect that i learned to understand. STARSHINE has an electric wheelchair and gets out and about quite a lot from spring until the snow is too deep to navigate.

it's nice to know my neighbors and this year presented a unique occurrence in that PAPA JOE played matchmaker between his son and me. not that we hadn't noticed each other before, mind you. we have talked many times over the past three years. but, we have never broached the subject of dating. i, myself, have been getting to know someone over the past year [friends only, but there was potential] so i hadn't thought about dating anyone. over the past few months the potential dropped to nil because, despite having known each other for close to ten years, he still doesn't trust me enough to invite me into his home. i'm not perfect by any means. i made the mistake of telling him that i checked on his home when he was out of town after a tornado struck our area. i used local, online county tax records to get the address and he thought that was stalking. [i had remembered the name of his landlord. yes, i have an excellent memory.] for the record, his was not the first - nor the only - home i checked that night. i checked on five other friends' homes that night as well after the tornado touched down. i made the decision to check on his because he was out of town and has expensive electronic equipment in his home & also owns and adores a cat. i was concerned about looting and his pet should there be any structural damage. he freaked the f*&% out when i told him; literally and figuratively so, although my motives were pure, i apologized. i understand why he was upset. he misunderstood my intentions. eventually, i believe that he came to understand that i was being a friend not a stalker. but, the fact of the matter remains, he did not, nor does, he trust women. he practically brags that he is a misogynist. i don't expect him to change. i simply want and deserve more.

thanks to PAPA JOE and MOTHER EARTH [my best friend], i have it.

more to follow.

=)