Sunday, December 21, 2008

My Grown Up Christmas List [neat idea, Missie!]

1. my entire family together for at least an hour in the same place!
2. a [small denomination] home depot gift card so i can finish my house.

short list, i know. the thing is, i already have a great life and am so happy that i really can't think of anything else.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

dear santa [racy! lol]

my friend sent me a link that i'd like to share with y'all - am hoping you'll play along and post your results!

my result:

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at joanna's Christmas party. It was brogan who spiked the punch with too much grey goose. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like sex.

I thought it was funny when I put emily's thong on my head and danced the tango on the coffee table while singing `ain't no other man'. I didn't mean to break joanna's pda and don't know why joanna would sue me for gross sexual imposition.

I don't remember calling tony's wife a honkin' heifer---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and white lipstick!

And when I threw up on brogan's husband's vagina, it was only because I ate too much of that steak.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my hummer through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a felonious dog and have me arrested for breaking and entering!

So, I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all flirty and rockin'. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sexy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and scantily yours,
tracey (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 409 bucks!